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Clive Alexander-Clarke

ᏚOᗰᕮᗪᗩY ¡Ꮪ ᑕOᗪᕮ ᖴOᏒ ᑎᕮᐯᕮᏒ...

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Timeline

went cycling

March 24, 2026

“Here, let me show you…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: I no longer have tomatoes, or mushrooms they are far too overrated [👺more importantly, if he negates them both, he will never see the beans] It’s the same theory as Schrödinger's Cat. The beans are in a state of existence and are nonexistent until the heated serving container…

Time

4h18m

Distance

55.8km

Speed

21.4km/h

Ascent

560m

Descent

560m

likes this.

went cycling

March 23, 2026

4-hours later…

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: Out north this morning. The Sun is out and the wind is low. I’ve worked out what happened to the epically immense pothole on Portugal Ave - they filled it in! It’s still undulatious [👺not a word] but it won’t throw you off or puncture your tyres. Impressive…

Time

3h03m

Distance

67.5km

Speed

24.0km/h

Ascent

810m

Descent

810m

went cycling

March 22, 2026

OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR…

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: We take the road north then on to the not so busy Portugal Ave. It has less potholes and protruding iron works than normal or we are desensitised [👺does this make them more or less dangerous?]

The 5 miles swiftly passes. Now on quieter country roads the elevation…

Time

6h03m

Distance

75.7km

Speed

19.5km/h

Ascent

1,200m

Descent

1,200m

went cycling

March 19, 2026

“Irreparable Thoughts of Death Barbie… And Cellulite…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: It has become clear that beans are not served when sausages are on the menu. It seems a strange substitute, tomatoes for beans seem much more apt.

The weather report was thunder & lightning for yesterday [👺Never happened 50% right 10% of the time] Today it says clouds…

Time

3h19m

Distance

62.0km

Speed

19.8km/h

Ascent

880m

Descent

880m

went cycling

March 17, 2026

Why is she always doing the splits…

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: Beans warning! Why would you substitute sausages FOR BEANS? Then some savage used the same utensil on the tomatoes and the beans for Gods sake!

Today is a flat recovery ride of varying surfaces along some already cycled roads and some driven roads. It is clear that to…

Time

2h11m

Distance

25.9km

Speed

18.1km/h

Ascent

100m

Descent

100m

went cycling

March 16, 2026

“Pink goes with everything…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: Away again but not as planned. sTrumpet puppeting [👺not a word] lives from another hemisphere. War should be outlawed unless commanding offices are within the borders of the country in conflict [👺want to stop spam emails, unnecessary work emails and scam text? Charge per email & text. Want…

Time

3h57m

Distance

66.5km

Speed

18.8km/h

Ascent

980m

Descent

970m

went cycling

December 31, 2025

“It ain’t over til it’s over…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: “What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere…” [👺Wow!…

Time

6h02m

Distance

130km

Speed

22.9km/h

Ascent

1,560m

Descent

1,550m

likes this.

went cycling

December 29, 2025

There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?…

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: It was 8am 🕗 on the dot when I entered the big ᗷᏒᕮᗩᏦFᗩᏚT...🥓🍳☕️ room. It would appear the regular diners have missed me. I am greeted by many including staff. Another clear indication of familiarity, I am not asked my room number. The EP goes well. There has…

Time

5h59m

Distance

101km

Speed

22.2km/h

Ascent

1,440m

Descent

1,430m

and like this.

went cycling

December 28, 2025

“You can’t salute the sun twice in one day…

[ᏚᏦ¡ᕈ] ᗷᏒᕮᗩᏦFᗩᏚT ᑕᏞᑌᗷ...🥓🍳☕️. I can’t be triggered ᗩᏀᗩ¡ᑎ so soon ᗩᑎᗪ decide not to join the 6am 🕕 diners.

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: I’m heading up my favourite descent. It’s about 200 vertical metres. But first I have to navigate the small town of El Doctoral that I am normally “full-gas… ⛽️”…

Time

3h17m

Distance

44.1km

Speed

21.3km/h

Ascent

630m

Descent

630m

likes this.

went cycling

December 27, 2025

“Nothing to see here…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: “In a galaxy far far away…” [👺really, like right out of the blocks!] I’m early to rise ᗩᏀᗩ¡ᑎ. My legs 🦵🏾 [the other one as well] protest any movement. I start my second run at the efficiency procedure (EP) placing 2 crustless slices of bread 🍞 in the…

Time

1h21m

Distance

32.7km

Speed

25.4km/h

Ascent

280m

Descent

270m

went cycling

December 26, 2025

“What better recipe for happiness?…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: I’m up early after yesterday’s celebrations - Rock ‘n’ Roll. Four episodes of The Big Bang Theory, some retail therapy [👺Wow, I’d hate to witness a shopping spree 🛍️] So I have decided to do 7am 🕖 ᗷᏒᕮᗩᏦFᗩᏚT...🥓🍳☕️. This crowd are not as rowdy as the 8am 🕗…

Time

4h11m

Distance

57.8km

Speed

20.2km/h

Ascent

1,010m

Descent

1,010m

likes this.

went cycling

December 25, 2025

“I’m sorry how rude of me… We’re The Thursday Murder Club…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY:. Many Happy Christmas greetings to read / send [👺if you didn’t receive one, he don’t like you. Joking, not joking, joking…🤣] Merry Christmas Everyone 🎅🏾

I avoided the baked beans 🫘 at ᗷᏒᕮᗩᏦFᗩᏚT...🥓🍳☕️ but I have to organise my self-service more efficiently so that my food isn’t ᑕOᏞᗪ🥶…

Time

2h45m

Distance

40.9km

Speed

20.0km/h

Ascent

410m

Descent

390m

went cycling

December 24, 2025

“Cherish the good moments…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: The palm Trees 🌴🌴 are a lot calmer this morning. The ᗯᕮᗩTᕼᕮᏒ ᏒᕮᕈOᏒT App I’ve been using for years has been giving me an overall guesstimate of the whole island 🏝️ [like that only bigger] Gran Canaries is close to the equator on the same line as the…

Time

5h04m

Distance

73.0km

Speed

25.8km/h

Ascent

840m

Descent

820m

likes this.

went cycling

December 23, 2025

“It’s not early if you’ve been awake since 05:30…” Ꮢ❤️

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: Ꮢ❤️

How in 2025 are you going to come to an International Airport without a plan?! I get stuck behind the guy that has never been through customs 🛂 LIKE EVER! Then completely ignores everyone in front of him so still has no idea what to do, ever…

Time

0h35m

Distance

10.9km

Speed

19.0km/h

Ascent

140m

Descent

150m
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